Peace

Scripture: "All who were sitting in the Sanhedrin looked intently at Stephen, and they saw that his face was like the face of an angel." (Acts 6:15)

Observation: Even in the midst of hardship and opposition, Stephen remained calm and peaceful. I imagine this is because he knew that God was on his side. No matter what was being said about him, Stephen must have known that God had a plan. Rather than worrying about what would happen to him, he seemed at ease.

Application: I am not someone that would be described as even keel. (I don't think so anyway.) I'm pretty emotional, and that includes worrying about silly things. I probably worry most about death. (Maybe it's because I've lost a few loved ones in the past few years.) Of course I want to live to the ripe old age of "Okay Lord, I'm ready to go now" like my beloved Grandma. Of course I don't want my life to end tragically early through some violent crime or random accident. I want to live long enough to see my own grandchildren grow up. But in the end, do I have any control over that? Outside of making stupid life threatening decisions like driving drunk or being alone in a bad part of town, isn't most of my life in God's hands? I want to be in a place where I don't feel conflicted if God wants me in Heaven. Because I hate to admit it, I'm not ready to go yet. In times like these, I think about my friend Andrew. He drowned on a whitewater rafting trip and his wife, my dear friend Melissa, was by his side. If my memory is correct, this was almost four years ago and he was just 28, a few days away from turning 29. (It was so close to his birthday that I had to stop the shipment on his birthday present. Just imagining Melissa's face if that package had arrived still makes me shiver.) I have yet to understand why God decided to have Andrew with him at such a young age, but I hope that He can get me to a place where I am not afraid to be with Him. Andrew didn't have a choice in the matter, and frankly, neither do I right?

Prayer: Lord, peace seems to be a hard thing for me to come by. I'm generally a happy go lucky person, but if things are going wrong, I tend to fall. In my dark times, I let my mind wander and I think about terrible things, like death. I know that death is a part of life, and I know that in death, I would be with You. But I'm not ready to let go of this world just yet. Please help me to find peace in those moments and not to worry about this life so much. You are in control, not me. Amen.